Tonight is one of those nights when I have to just sigh and give it to God. This week at work has been tremendously trying, and today is only my “Wednesday.” We have had an overwhelming amount of kids in the shelter (we have seen almost 50 children in the past 3 days), and the children who are coming in are really challenging. I can’t believe the amount of children under the age of 15 who are on such strong psychotropic medications!
And then there are the newborns that are born substance exposed. The environment of the womb that was supposed to shelter them from this cruel and unforgiving world pretty much failed them before they could take their first breath. Tonight, I held a newborn who was only 4 days old. So sweet and quiet. My heart melted. Six years ago, I would not have felt the same way, but today I just was in awe that this little being was formed inside someone’s body for almost a year and and here he is…now…today…brand new…a sponge for life. I can’t quite describe what it’s like to see creation right in the middle of your hands. It gives tangible weight to Psalm 139:13-14:
“For you created my inmost being: you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful…”
We have gotten a few newborns over the last couple of months and for some reason my heart grows bigger and bigger. I am not sure I am ready for my uterus to scream ” OOOO gimmie one of these!” I do know that God is preparing me for something maternal… even if it is more of the same with my position.
So tonight, as I continue to rest in the arms of my Father, who is bigger than this hot mess of a world we live in, I will praise him continually. I know that there is purpose, and each one of these children have his love. I pray that they will grow to learn of him, and love him back. Thank you Abba for your grace and compassion toward me to experience this new journey. I know that this is part of my revelation.