Today is Saturday, April 6, 2013. So far this month has been quite vivid with emotions, events, and experiences. I am not sure what is happening right now, or why I am being brought to this place; however, I do know that God answers prayers.
Last month I purchased Hillsong’s lated album called “Zion.” First off, what an AWESOME and beautiful album title. If you haven’t heard it yet, I IMPLORE that you go to Itunes or their website to listen.
One song, entitles “Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)” is my favorite. The bridge of the song, which last about 5 minutes, says:
Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders
Let me walk upon the water, wherever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savoir.
That has been my prayer ever since I heard the song. Well, God is very quick to answer these types of prayer because He eagerly wants to grow our faith. I was not specific. Oh, these can be dangerous requests! We can’t dictate how God chooses to grow our trust and faith; however, we know for a fact that he will do it. I am in waters that are unknown and I’m staying spiritually flexible so that the ambiguous borders of where I am will not cause fear or trembling. This is deep water for me right now.
Being in relationship with David has been exciting and challenging. We have been single for a long time, we are set in our ways, and we have our own expectations of people that are pretty hard and fast. Merging these attributes of our personality is difficult at times because our styles are different. One thing that is very important to me is learning early on how a person deals with conflict. Conflict isn’t always drop-down, drag-out fights.
Conflict is described by Merriam-Webster as “mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands.” So as we are learning each other’s needs, drives, wishes, demands, and communication style of course there will be hiccups. I will say that I have learned a lot already about David’s conflict resolution style and so far God has given both of us the patience to continue to walk along this journey together. There are more challenges on the horzon, as with any relationship, and they will test the strength of our relationship. I am very positive because our desire is to keep God first in our lives. He will speak to and through us.
We chose God. Since we chose God to be the center of it all, I am confident that we can weather any storm that comes. I am not naive in thinking that just because we are Christians that everything will be OK. In fact, because we are Christians our limits will be stretched even further because the enemy would like nothing more than to tear apart unions that are God-centered. I can already see how he (the freak of nature aka satan) has already tried to start messing with various aspects of our minds and lives, especially when it comes to us relating to each other.
But I will say this – he can’t have anything of mine! Nor can he have anything of David’s! This is the fight…the battle… There may be detours, deployments, and wounds during this combat. I pray that the Lord continue to strengthen us as he already has so that we can see the unsteady waters and warn us of trouble. That in the midst of any storm we have individually or together that we will call out to God and he will say “Peace, be still.” That we will not allow fear of the unknown to dictate our actions, but be confident in the truth that we already know to order our steps. Lord, I know this won’t be easy and I know that there are times that may cause pain. Despite the truth of trial, I am willing and ready to stand and fight whatever may come.
David and I parted ways recently. It was a mutual decision. God gave us a wonderful gift albeit brief. It fulfilled a need for each of us and after the need was met God removed it from our hands. I don’t know if I will every fully understand why this time was allowed, but I’m thankful that at every step of the way he was there.
Since my life is pretty much a movie with a score, here are the music tracks for this post (hmmm…maybe I’ll start doing that!)