So today marks the end of one chapter of my life. Albeit brief, it was still present and took root in my day to day life. I will admit to you, blessed reader, that this post will be rather cryptic just because it’s so fresh. At this time I don’t want to go into detail on the circumstances…I just want to write and be real. I write to let go, cope, overcome, heal, etc. I needed to continue this process of healing in some form now that I’ve talked to my Dad (God).
Driving home from work I was angry, confused, sad, tired…No no EXHAUSTED! Sometimes I wonder why we are allowed to experience certain things. Well…I know why. I know all the christianese reasons why, but God really? Especially when the main concern is to do right by Your word by forsaking this world and all of the nonsense it represents. I’m sure Job thought the same thing. He lost everything. My issue is nothing compared to how Job suffered, but the pain is there.
Sometimes doing what is right is not easy, and it may even bring on pain, but I know in the long term that it’s worth it to allow God to order my steps. Proverbs 16:1 says ” we can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.” I prayed for an answer even though I had resigned to stay the course and God instructed me otherwise. So in an act of obedience I did what I knew was best and what was right.
I don’t understand why I was brought to this point. I don’t understand why now. I don’t understand why this door opened in the first place if it was to be closed. I don’t understand why my peace was shaken…
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. – Psalm 34:18
Yes, Jesus loves me…for the bible tells me so…
What next? Keep living, loving laughing. Just keep swimming! I’m ok…always was and always will be no matter what may come.
My trust is without boarders.
When I got home tonight, I refused to cross the threshold of my doorway until I had resigned to leave any lies of the enemy regarding my self-worth out in the cold. Negativity is not welcome in my home.
Do know that as I close my eyes there is peace in the broken pieces.I’m loved. I’m safe. I have Jesus and he is all I truly need. I am joyful. I am forever joyful in the lessons learned at every step of the way.
My harvest is coming. I will start a new chapter, and the door that I have been waiting and praying about going through will be opened to me in the perfect time.