So I am going to start this post off just saying that I want to vent. I don’t really want any of that feel-good encouragement or Christianese platitudes. No…I kinda want to sulk.
Today was fair. I really hate these days because it makes life very unproductive. I had a hard time concentrating today, and I found myself watching the clock. Dreadful.
I got an email that I was waiting for. I auditioned not too long ago for the church worship team, which is something I have wanted to do for about seven years since being at this church. I knew it was a long shot and I have always been intimidated by their talent, but I practiced and tried anyway. Even seeking some informal voice coaching from a current member. But i didn’t make it; my “voice is too weak.” I’m not a singer, but I really enjoy singing for the Lord. It was suggested that I can sign up for voice class at the church and maybe audition again in six months. I don’t have $100 for the lessons, but going into this audition I was resolved in the fact that if I didn’t make it that it meant I was supposed to be serving in another area at the church. So I would like to find that space. Serving enriches your worship life. I feel like something is missing and I’m bored. Serving takes the focus off you and puts it back on God where it should be. It helps us keep perspective. So I pray that God shows me the door that has already been opened for me. In the meantime I will be hopeful for that time to come.
Work is a bit overwhelming. I asked to be challenged and boy did the Lord answered that prayer! I am thankful for it. I am deep in the throws of a project and I am feeling some inadequacy rising up within my spirit. That’s not of God, but i am human so it is something I have to fight. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be where I am if I wasn’t supposed to be there. I’m just praying that whatever God is going to do that he come because I think that maybe I have started to look at the water and I am starting to sink.
I picked up my car today and the guy who was there to check in the loaner was playing some music. Some funk like the Commodores and Earth wind and Fire. The girl in front of me didn’t really know about the groups bur she looked like she could be about my age. Then i got to the counter and the guy was like ” Yeah I know you know these guys. You have a couple of years on her and she didn’t know them.” ::sigh:: so now I’m old???? Yes I remember those guys but they did come out before I was born.
On Monday my usual dance class was cancelled so I had the choice to make up in another class this week. I called and asked if Zumba was at 7 and I was told it was. I get here tonight to find its at 7:30. Normally I wouldn’t be so bothered but that compounded with everything else today sent me over the edge.
Well…I want to let this go. Class starts in about ten minutes. I guess if I had gotten here later I wouldn’t have been able to vent a little. Anyway…God is good! He has good things planned. I am excited to see what’s in store.
UPDATE….. ugh… Zumba was cancelled tonight too. 😦