An Introduction…

So… there has been someone in my life for quite some time. I haven’t really talked about him because, well… I am not really proud of this relationship. He has been around through all of my other relationships…kind of like a back up, but more like “the one that I couldn’t get over.” His name… Fred. It’s strange how we let others take root in our lives, even the ones that we know aren’t good for us. Fred has kept me from doing a lot of things that I really wanted to do. He has deceived me, but I let him. He made me miss out opportunities, but I opened the door for him. He prevented me from  saying the things I needed to say when I needed to say them, but I allowed him to put the gag on my mouth. Fred is my nemesis, but I nurtured the relationship between him and I because I didn’t really know how to break up with him. He was always there and I never kicked him to the curb. I was preoccupied with serving him and he just got bigger and bigger in my life. So big that I couldn’t really tell where the truth ended and the lies began. I never loved Fred, but his controlling nature paralyzed me. I’m disappointed that I allowed this in my life. So…. now,…as I stand at the edge of this valley, getting ready to climb a new mountain, I realize that he is too heavy for me to carry with me. He can not go with me. I am no longer willing to break my back keeping him as a fixture in my life. I can’t afford to do that anymore. I feel almost crippled by him. He has no real love for me, and I don’t know why I stood behind him so much. Soon…

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