I’m sure you have had one of THOSE days when it seems like a snowball. Coming off of a night where I didn’t get any rest, the morning just shot off almost without warning. I was up every hour or so, the kind of waking that happens when you have a bad dream ( I do remember having some pretty negative dreams last night). Then, of course caring for my dad is nonstop. Food prep, medication, changing bandages, helping to get up and down and all trying to help him maintain his dignity in being in a state that is dependent on those around him, it’s both physically and emotionally challenging.
The previous two nights, I slept through my alarms and thus did not wake up to give my dad his overnight medication dosages. This meant for two days the first thing I woke up to in the morning was my dad screaming in pain. I felt so bad. I think the anxiety from fearing that my dad would be in pain because of me was the reason that I didn’t sleep well. It’s like my brain wouldn’t sleep or rest. And my dream was about the VP of the team where I work reprimanding me and showing disappointment in me (for what reason I don’t know…but it was a dream so whatevs).
Getting up I was exhausted, but I knew that pushing through was important. After making breakfast and doing the morning cleanup and prep, I received some personal email that was emotionally charged – not negatively – just very direct. I logged on to work and started getting some things done, only realize that I had started the project wrong and had to start over. When I thought I was right, my director let me know it was still wrong (yay). I think by 12pm, I was just so over it that I curled up on the couch in a blanket for a couple of hours.
I got up a little later and looked outside… dang it…snow.. NO! I really wanted to go to Zumba tonight! I know that most people who are used to winter weather are probably saying “Snow? Girl Please, go to the gym!” My only concern is living where I live, winters are typically mild. We are not equipped for snow and ice! Look at what happened last February! The class was canceled last night, so it’s possible tonight may be a repeat. I just want to workout and get some endorphins going. I worked out last night, but I wanna dance…. makes me happy…::sigh::
Venting and complaining over…
OK! So, today the snow was so pretty – I haven’t seen snow in a long time. Alright.. Time to get dinner going and to get out of the house to the gym for a little bit.