Conversations With Parents: Mom and Ray – “Farts”

So by the title of this post, you probably already know what you are getting ready to experience. Let me preface with the disclosure that there was no gas passed or mimicked during this conversation.

I was in the kitchen, making sugar body scrubs for a Bridal Shower that is happening this weekend and my mom was in the living room watching TV. My stepdad, Ray, comes into the kitchen and we begin…

Ray: Whatcha makin’ Reese? (yes… another nickname) Honey, she’s got food over here!

Me: I’m making a sugar scrub; it’s for your body.

Ray: Oh [turns and begins talking to my mom in the living room]. Honey you know what happened? I was laying in the bed and I lifted up one of the pillows, and the fart was still there.

Mom: Huh? The fart was still there?

Ray: [laughing] The fart. I lifted up the pillow….and…the fart… it was there…

Mom: You mean the smell of the fart?

Ray: Yea [giggling] it was there!

Mom: An “old fart”

Ray: That’s what they call old men… and old women are “old biddies.” Dana you are too young to understand this conversation.

Dana: [still mixing the scrub, pretending to be deaf not making eye contact with anyone]

Mom: “Old Maids” are old women.

Ray: Yea! Get the table out, Baby we gotta play some cards.

I still have questions about this…Who farted under the pillow? How long ago did it happen for it to linger under the pillow? How does this even happen? Anyway…I got a good laugh, as always.


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