A year ago yesterday, I wrote this posts: https://soultivating.wordpress.com/2014/06/12/the-sum-total/.
At the time my heart was feeling very raw for various reasons. I was on the verge of leaving Florida and starting over back in Georgia, I was uncertain about my professional future, and I was feeling despondent and enumerating about my past romantic relationship with David (among others). I was in fact all over the place.
Interestingly enough I still feel scattered, but in different and same ways. There’s been immense progress;however, that progress has brought a whole new set of challenges and strains.
Right now, my meditation is in the fact that I know who I am. I know to whom I belong. I know my first love and I am confident he provides all that I need and more.
The previous post is still true. I acknowledge the need I have. At the same time, a lot has been put to rest and I am growing. I am not as angsty, but there are still questions, hopes, and desires. Mostly, I am wanting to improve at exhibiting the knowledge that I have about loving others without strings attached. I can do this pretty well until I am hurt. I can’t imagine how Jesus felt and continues to feel when we just ignore all that he is and what he stands for.
I know God is in control. He doesn’t miss a thing and he is faithful to perfect in my the work he began in me until he returns.