Melancholia…

I have moments these days. Moments that challenge and defeat me. As I was driving back from Florida in the wee hours of the day before the sun came up today, I had the most cripple thought:

My birthday is coming up and I don’t think I have anything really to show for my 33 years, but student loans and a trail of work experiences that do not culminate into anything. I have no person, no home of my own, no direction because I am confused about what I want to do, and no idea on how to make things better right now…

First off this is a dangerous place to be, but the mind has legs, you know? It wanders off if left without something constructive. I want to overcome this thought so much, but as I sit on my mother’s couch job hunting (once again) on the heels of celebrating another friend’s wedding, I am admittedly feeling despondent. This time of year has been like this since I turned 30…I hate it.

These are the days I wish Jesus would just come back…

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